My rating: 4 of 5 stars
~Warning Spoilers ahead~
Imagine growing up thinking that there was something wrong with you? You were cursed, had a demon inside of you? And imagine that you prayed every night for eight years
for God to make you good, not a sinner, to make you not gay! Because you can't be gay?? Because your faith, your God, your pastor, your church, your mother says it's wrong. Gay people are wrong and they are cursed, they will go to hell!
You are wrong, you are going to hell!!
Sarah had big dreams, she was going to Yale. That was until she got pregnant and had baby Rebecca. A baby she doesn't really want, a baby that shouldn't have happened, because she shouldn't have been with Cal.
Cal, is a homophobic jerk who Sarah ran too. Ran from Tiff, her best friend, who everyone knew was gay. Her best friend that she loved but was to scared, ashamed to tell. So she ran to Cal, to hide who she was, because being with Cal no one would think she liked girls, she wouldn't think she liked girls. This was her telling the world, telling herself, I'm straight, there's nothing wrong with me.
Sarah get's visits from "the messenger" he says's he's from God. I personally don't believe she was seeing anyone. I think it was something that came from within her, her own personal demon. A way for her to talk down to herself, or insure she does the right thing.
She can't take the stress, Rebecca doesn't stop crying. Sarah needs sleep. She doesn't know what she is going to do, all her dreams are gone. She looks at this baby and with out love. "The messenger" tells her God will give her another chance, she can go to Yale, have the future back. Because it was her trying to listen to God and not be gay that she ended up getting pregnant. So he's going to give her a second chance, all she needs to do his give her baby, give Rebecca to him. Give her baby to God, kill her baby so she will return to him.
This book made me see red. But I still enjoyed it, because it was suppose to make me mad. It's actually sickening some parts of this story. I hate the fact there are actually people in this world like some of the characters in this book.
And to them I would like to say
For those who are made to feel ashamed, dirty, wrong. Don't be. Be proud of who you are.
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